Abraham minding the idol store

Okay, I know two stories from the history of Terah's family, both involve his son Abram.

Terah once went away on a walkabout and left Abram to mind the store. To say the least, Abram was not the best idol salesman to ever walk the earth.
Terah had scarcely left Ur when a man came and wished to buy one of the idols. Abram asked him, 'How old are you?' When the man answered that he was sixty years old, Abram rebuked him, 'You should be ashamed, a man of sixty wanting to bow down to an object that is but one day old.' The man became embarrassed and left. Abram thought that was really funny, he was a student, albeit unschooled of people and knew just how to push a man's buttons.


One rainy day a cougar of a woman came to the store with a plateful of flour and asked Abram to offer it to the idols in her behalf. She kissed Abram on the cheek and lightly touched his thigh, "Maybe I can come back tomorrow with another plate". Abram thought to himself, that will never do, I have the eye of the hottest chick in Ur, I can't let this middle aged woman mess that up.

AbrahamWanderer LOL, the lady that wants me to sacrifice the bread is a cougar, hitting on me, hope Sarai doesn't pop in, tough to explain


I think some women want to be powerful, predatory even. Abram showed a lot of maturity, they say that the older woman is every young guy's dream. Anyway, Abram reasoned, if there are no idols, she will find another idol shop. He took a stick, broke the idols with a series of crashing blows, and put the stick in the largest idol’s hand.

When Terah Wild Goat returned, he demanded that Abram explain what he had done. Abraham told Terah that the idols fought among themselves and the largest broke the others with the stick.

< = = = No way! He couldn't expect Terah to be that dumb!

Yes way, in fact it is a Jewish Midrash, a particular way of reading and interpreting a biblical verse and I think it must have happened, Abram tweeted part of the event:

AbrahamWanderer UH Oh, Terah just got home, mad about the busted idols, talking about turning me in to Nimrod for judgment.


Anyway, to finsh the story. Terah said angrily, “Why do you mock me? Do idols have any knowledge? Abram then retorted “Listen to what you are saying!”
Terah burned in anger, but Abram was already becoming the fierce warrior that would one day be the most respected wanderer in Canaan. Terah considered turning his son over to Nimrod, King of Ur, Lord of Heaven, but in those days, your son was your retirement plan and Terah was no spring chicken.

Abram's Dad, Terah the idol maker

To go with twitter.com/AbrahamWanderer

Hello Master Cohen, may I introduce myself, I am John Comfort, but most kids call me Mr. Storyteller because that is what I do. We are going to learn about the Patriarchs and then selected stories about other great leaders from scripture such as Joseph, Moses, Joshua and David so that you have a full understanding as you approach Bar Mitzvah and manhood. As we learn about these heroes of the faith, you will learn a bit more about yourself and your role. Sound good? Ready to get started?

<= = = One more thing to do on a Thursday, but I am sure my parents want me to learn and stories do not sound painful, so welcome Mr. Storyteller, what do we hear today?


It is an honor to be here Master Cohen. Today is the story of Abram the wanderer, son of Terah, a member of the all time hall of fame as we will see. When Terah Wild Goat, the Wanderer was 70 years old, the peak of manliness back in those days, he started hitting on w4m lists. He got a response from Mamayar about ten seconds after he wrote her.

@Terah, Roof-topping at the Ziggurat lounge. Live DJ, sun, red wine, friends and fresh hummus. What more could a woman ask for? Let's meet in real life.

In short order Terah became the father of Abram, Nahor, and Haran of whom he kept custody. All of his sons were athletic, strong willed and a bit quirky, but that was the norm in Ur.


Now Terah the father of Abram was a piece of work. Terah was wicked in that he manufactured wooden idols for a living. He used to make them from stone, but got frustrated by the amount of tool maintenance required. In fact, he was the inspiration for the poem by Emily: "All the chisels I've dulled carving idols of stone. That have crumbled like sand beneath the waves."

His shop was along one of the main paths to the shrine of the patron god of the city of Ur, the Moon-god Nannar, what we call Iraq today just past the wedded rocks, two rocks in the ocean that are connected by sacred ropes made of braided papayrus stalks. They are approached by a path along the temple, through a stone gate. There is a fountain where visitors can cleanse their hands and mouths before approaching the shrine area. The rocks are considered to represent Anu and Anata, the married founding god and goddess of the Chaldees.

The heart of the town was set apart as the Moongod's sanctuary. The great ziggurat or temple-tower was all about Nannar and Nimrod. And, although other gods had their shrines within the sacred enclosure, they were only there as attendants for the majesty of Nannar.

Terah would sit along the path carving his idols and sometimes the moon god worshipers would stop, everyone likes to watch an artist at work. Terah would answer their questions, sometimes breaking off the conversation to look towards heaven and speak, or tilt his ear as he listened to a voice, the customer could not hear. When he made a sale, which was about one out of every three persons to stop, he would wait for them to leave, open a wooden footlocker and pull out another idol that was almost finished and start carving again; when it comes to idols some people like them very old and others as fresh as possible.

Terah also had weathered ones, but they did not sell as well and the fresh ones. He did fairly well, once he staged an event where he carved a larger idol for 72 hours non-stop with a silent auction sheet. People bid sheep, goats, camels as well as money. Terah does not recall where he got the idea of fighting sleep for three days in order to carve his idols in front of passersby.

AbrahamWanderer Kickoff

Began a new book project on the life of Abraham. Created a Twitter account (twitter.com/AbrahamWanderer). Following people with names in the account ( Terah, Sarai, Abram ) also started following a few Rabbis to get the inside scoop. We will begin with his boyhood in Ur and a couple Midrashim that apply.