Thursday, October 30, 2008

Abraham minding the idol store

Okay, I know two stories from the history of Terah's family, both involve his son Abram.

Terah once went away on a walkabout and left Abram to mind the store. To say the least, Abram was not the best idol salesman to ever walk the earth.
Terah had scarcely left Ur when a man came and wished to buy one of the idols. Abram asked him, 'How old are you?' When the man answered that he was sixty years old, Abram rebuked him, 'You should be ashamed, a man of sixty wanting to bow down to an object that is but one day old.' The man became embarrassed and left. Abram thought that was really funny, he was a student, albeit unschooled of people and knew just how to push a man's buttons.

One rainy day a cougar of a woman came to the store with a plateful of flour and asked Abram to offer it to the idols in her behalf. She kissed Abram on the cheek and lightly touched his thigh, "Maybe I can come back tomorrow with another plate". Abram thought to himself, that will never do, I have the eye of the hottest chick in Ur, I can't let this middle aged woman mess that up.

AbrahamWanderer LOL, the lady that wants me to sacrifice the bread is a cougar, hitting on me, hope Sarai doesn't pop in, tough to explain

I think some women want to be powerful, predatory even. Abram showed a lot of maturity, they say that the older woman is every young guy's dream. Anyway, Abram reasoned, if there are no idols, she will find another idol shop. He took a stick, broke the idols with a series of crashing blows, and put the stick in the largest idol’s hand.

When Terah Wild Goat returned, he demanded that Abram explain what he had done. Abraham told Terah that the idols fought among themselves and the largest broke the others with the stick.

< = = = No way! He couldn't expect Terah to be that dumb!

Yes way, in fact it is a Jewish Midrash, a particular way of reading and interpreting a biblical verse and I think it must have happened, Abram tweeted part of the event:

AbrahamWanderer UH Oh, Terah just got home, mad about the busted idols, talking about turning me in to Nimrod for judgment.

Anyway, to finsh the story. Terah said angrily, “Why do you mock me? Do idols have any knowledge? Abram then retorted “Listen to what you are saying!”
Terah burned in anger, but Abram was already becoming the fierce warrior that would one day be the most respected wanderer in Canaan. Terah considered turning his son over to Nimrod, King of Ur, Lord of Heaven, but in those days, your son was your retirement plan and Terah was no spring chicken.

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